Thursday, June 27, 2013

And Incidentally

Time for a super-secret DVD bonus extra that only readers of my personal blog will discover. In case you missed this week's Rhymedown Spectacular, you can see it here. My contribution this week was a poem highlighting the inherent absurdity of a console, a luxury item trying to persuade us to buy it, being a long list of 'can'ts', you can't play old games, you can't play without an account etc.

Originally the poem was more of a dig at the Xbox One specifically, but the day after I wrote it, the huge Microsoft DRM backtrack happened, so I had to hurriedly reword some bits and delete two verses to make the poem more about addressing the general issues that all the consoles have to greater and lesser degrees.

But for the record, here are the two verses I cut:

You can't play games that were bought second-hand
And you can't play games that you borrow
And you can't complain that this causes you pain
'Cos we're running a business, y'know

You can't play unless there's an online connection
And a fast one at that – in your house
And you can't play unless it checked in today
Like a needy emotional spouse

Wow, lucky I did cut those, Microsoft might have brought arson charges against me if I'd unleashed burnsauce that potent.

44 comments:

  1. I haven't heard a word on this, Is there going to be a audio book version of Jam?

    ReplyDelete
  2. You never know, they might backpedal on their backpedaling. @_@

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I can see that being one of their "updates" after the people buy it.

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  3. Nice last minute edits, but the only people that would troll that are the people you usually ignore to death.

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  4. This is why I'll stick to my PlayStation 2 rather than buying a next gen console; great verses by the way.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Just wait for the sneaky cloud computing integration in every god damn game. Mark my words, this always online DRM isn't going away any time soon.

    Also, nicely done with that poem. Personally, I would have mailed it to them just to piss them off even more.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The nigh endless list of restrictions placed on console users has been niggling at me ever since I bought a PS3 under the influence of the idea that I'd be able to play PS2 games; after all, my girlfriend could because she had one of the first-generation models. When I fed it my first attempt, I was absolutely baffled by the apparent stupidity of the "Unsupported Disk" message it displayed and flew to the box, where I was certain to find proof that the world had gone mad, only to discover that a fast one had been pulled. Then I got mad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have a Playstation so I can play the Japanese games that don't get released on PC. Just about every western game I care about gets a PC release. I can't fathom why so many people buy an Xbox and pay for Xbox live when most of its game library is available on PC.

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  9. god damn you need to get a radio talk show, then you can insult (gamecompany you dont like) as they are driving to work and as they are driving home. think about it you could insult anybody you want twice a day if they have a job and a car w/radio and they listen to your radio show and then you could demoralize them
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